Wake Up

I've been sleeping , it's time to wake up , i should never allowed myself to fall asleep.
So what if i abandoned the t.v
So what if i am learning boxing and muay thai even if i work hard at it ,
what of it, it's not enough nowhere near enough
i have been sleepwalking
I can't allow myself pleasure because it is just a distraction
and the world is too serious for that.
When i want to trust people i need to remember to judge by actions not words
and to judge by associations.
Yes i will judge you by the company you keep and the places you hang out.
I will not go to places where trouble lurks
I will not seek pleasure
I will force myself to face reality, cold ugly hard , harsh bitter reality
I can't turn my head , avert my eyes or shrug it off
I can't go along with what people do and say for the sake of not rocking the boat, or for not being lonely
I don't want to hurt anyone physically or mentally
but i can't not say or do anything anymore
I need action not just thoughts
because the inmates are running the asylum and unless i do something
i am just contributing to it.